Sometimes I Just Sit Around Thinking....

I know I already posted today;
But I really just needed to vent.

Do you ever feel like life...is just crazy?
I mean, I think back to when I was a kid and maybe it's the whole childhood innocence thing, but I just remember being happier;
Does everyone feel that way?
Not to say that I'm not happy now, but, as cheesy as this sounds:
Being a kid was just fun; the skies seemed bluer, the grass seemed greener, and there were those warm summer nights you would sit on the block with your friends watching fireflies fly around as you tried to catch them; of course we always let them go.
I'm not sure when it happens but it does,
All of a sudden you care about how you look and what people think of you and your child-like world is shattered to make way for other things;
I know everyone needs to grow up and it's not like I don't want to, but I sometimes feel, as happy as I am, that I'll never be truly happy.
But then I think, "Do I really know what true happiness is?".
Sometimes I even cry thinking about it.
And then I relax and I think about where I'll be in 10, 20 years, and how my life will be.
And honestly, it scares me a little because I don't know how my life will be and where I'll be.


But it's like, when you're a kid the biggest fight you have is that the annoying kid in your class stole your red crayon;
It seems like the older you get, the more backstabbing friends get; the more drama gets flopped around.
And when you start getting older you start changing yourself to fit in, and to be liked.
And then you start acting different with each group of people;
So different that you start to not even know who you are anymore;
I wish I did, but sometimes I can't even remember me. The real me.

I sometimes feel as if a dark cloud is permenantly stuck over my head or I'm trapped in a small room.
And all you want to do is feel happy, and free and alive.
But how exactly do you do that?

God, it's almost insane how much I'm bottling up inside me;
Sorry for the rant.
I just go crazy trying to hold so much thought and emotion back inside of me.

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe